ack!

I finally got to see my parents. I got there and no more than two minutes they were at each other's throats. Both of them were as mean as they come...i was thinking..why the hell do i break my neck to see them if they are going to be like this? Anyway, Vince and I are meeting them for lunch today. Well see how they are. I got great pictures of my niece and nephew. I swear I'm related to the most beautiful family in the world. [Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<yes [...] i'm>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]I finally got to see my parents. I got there and no more than two minutes they were at each other's throats. Both of them were as mean as they come...i was thinking..why the hell do i break my neck to see them if they are going to be like this? Anyway, Vince and I are meeting them for lunch today. Well see how they are. I got great pictures of my niece and nephew. I swear I'm related to the most beautiful family in the world. <yes i'm bias> One more night of hell! I'm going to try to find another job this week. i have to get some more money. my dad is going to help out on my insurance payment. i finally sent my car payment. hopefully the bank will unfreeze my account. I wanted to get my roomate something for her b-day, but they wouldn't take my check <pouts> I do have some money in there..it just all needs to go to bills. i'm so tired of being stressed out about money though. maybe if I become a stripper for a few weeks, i'll catch up and then i can quit <NOT!> people would pay me to put my clothes on. The other night this man at the hospital commented on my shoes. i KNOW he's got to have a foot thing. I was secretely dying inside. I just wanted to blurt out "do you want to suck them and be my foot slave" luckily i didn't though. A lot of guys notice my feet. I never knew just how many of them out there like toes until i met Vince. And let me tell you women..you haven't lived until you've made a grown man crawl to you in order to suck on your toes. Ahh...the power of being a woman :) So have you ever farted out of your crotch? It's a wierd thing. Just thought I'd tell you that. <laughs all embarrassed> I wrote Carol a poem today. it's really hard because i'm so down, but want to be hopefully. it's like listening to the teletubbies theme song when all you really want to do is bash your head into the wall. I have a lot of mixed up feelings. i'm so stressed out. i'm happy but i'm not. i think once i greive the death of Carol and things kinda get back to normal and i'm a little more finacially secure i'll be fine. i'm just afraid of how Vince will react after his mom is gone. If he's going to pull away or if we'll be stronger. i'd be devestated if things went differetly. there is so much i want to show him. <sigh> I did have a whole boat load of stuff i wanted to say..but i'm brain dead at the moment. I actually got sleep and look what it does to me. go figure. blah. anway..peace..i'm outie!